There comes a point in a pet owner's life where they find themselves questioning the value of pet ownership.

Last night was my night.

To begin, let me point out that I am not complaining about the number of pets we own. I knew what I was getting into from the beginning, and have happily accepted responsibility for these animals. We just happen to be a family who loves animals.

When Mike and I first met, it was quaint that Paolo slept under the blankets. He (Paolo) is bathed often, so it isn't a terrible thing, and sometimes it's fun to have a warm dog on your feet.

When Madden moved in, because he was so small, and also bathed regularly, and in need of bonding with his new family, we also let him sleep under the blankets, because, hey...everyone likes a warm dog on their feet.

The problem, however, is that the bigger dogs have begun to believe that they are also able to sleep under the covers, which leads us to some problems. Holly, who is around 40 pounds, has developed an urge to scratch at the blankets and nose them out of the way in order to get under the covers rightnexttome while I am sleeping. She whines and scratches until she has some measure of success, which usually means her hip is covered, or her head, though usually not her whole body. Koko (at a svelte 65 pounds) believes firmly that she belongs on anyone's feet, or tangled up in their blankets. As long as she renders us immobile, she's fine.

As I slept last night, suffering cold symptoms, Holly and Koko both decided simultaneously (you know what we should do, Holly?) that they should attempt to get under the blankets and/or rearrange the creature balance on the bed. To be fair, they did take turns, Holly scratching and whimpering, and Koko flopping as hard as she could right next to my head and breathing in my ear. At approximately 2:24 this morning, I decided it was time to make some different sleeping arrangements. After cajoling and yelling and getting not very much rest at all, I have made an official decision.

From now on, I will sleep on the floor.


The dogs can have the bed.