Mouse Killa

Sammie!  

I said it's Sammie!  S-A-M-M-I-E.  Not S-A-M-M-Y.  If you're going to hassle me, man, at least get my name right.  

Middle name?  Yeah, I got a middle name.  It's Louis. Why are you laughing?  Why the HELL are you laughing?  I'll mess you up.  

Look, I'll tell you again. I didn't hurt the mouse on purpose.  He was in my yard.  MY yard, dude.  What else was I supposed to do?  He walks onto my turf, I gotta protect it. Nothin' in the law against self-defense, is there?  I didn't think so.  

So, no - he walks into the yard, and I thought I'd have some fun with him.  You know, rough him up a little bit so the other mousies know to stay away.  So I chase him. He wasn't real fast, short legs and all...anyway, I caught him, obviously, and I pinned him down.  All I said was, "NEVER come back to the Dogs (and cats) on Propps house".  He started breathing fast, and looked at me, like he was going to say something.  That's when he got all still.  I batted him around a little. I'll admit it.  You know, just to see if he was alright.  I was trying to help was all. He twitched a couple of times, and then he just stopped moving.  I don't know, it all happened so fast.  

Yeah, I moved his body.  I didn't want that garbage dirtying up the sidewalk for my family.  I just dragged it up to the door, though.  I didn't want them to miss it when they walked out.  I wanted to make sure they gave him a proper burial.  Yeah, I guess I had something to do with it.  Sid, though, the cat from next door - he delivered the final blow. 

I promise I'll never do it again.  You tell the mousies, though, that if they come in this yard, I'll take care of 'em. I'll take care of 'em real good.